Hey, guys. Anyone who reads this -- I'm having trouble getting on the Chicago Tribune Topix. As you might remember, I can't do Yahoo at work so I'm stuck.
Thinking of you all.....
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Court Room Drama
Court tugged at the collar of her robe. "It's too hot in here to wear this thing," she muttered. "And how come I have to be the judge?"
"You're the judge because you're the only one here with an actual law degree," EEE chirped from her position perched on the corner of Judge Court's bench.
"And what the helm are you wearing?" Court demanded.
EEE looked down. "This is my uniform. Eneyer told me that if I'm gonna be your bailiff, I had to wear a uniform."
"But that's a girl scout uniform, EEE. And it looks about 3 sizes too small for you."
"Four!" EEE grinned, tugging on the green skirt which barely covered her cheeks.
Court rolled her eyes.
"What's the next case?" she asked.
EEE reached into her bra and pulled out a crumpled sheet of paper. "Um.... it look's like it's Mike vs Angelique et al."
"Et al?"
"Et al," EEE repeated. "It's short for 'et alii' which is Latin for 'and others'"
Court gritted her teeth.
"I KNOW what et al means, EEE. WHO does 'et al' refer to in this case?" Court's temper was beginning to wear thin.
"Oh! It refers to RACE and Nova and... um... well..."
"I'm doing research into testectomy via farm implements!" Well declared, striding through the courtroom and back out again.
EEE glowered after him and then shook her head, collecting her thoughts.
"Um... well... actually *I'M* part of the 'et al'" she confessed. "You see...I was giving Mike a hard time on the boards yesterday and..."
Court held up a hand imperiously, cutting her off. "You're named in this suit?"
"Um... Yeah."
"Then get off my bench and go sit at the defense table with the rest of them!"
EEE hopped down. "Do I still get to call out 'All rise' when the doors open...?" she asked.
Court glared at her. "Send in a new baillif!" she hollared.
The door opened and a long, tall, hottie in chaps and a cowboy hat strode in. "Mornin' ladies," he grinned, tipping his hat at Court and EEE.
----
Will this trial EVER get underway? Will Angelique ever get her day in court? Will Court strangle EEE with her girl-scout badge sash?
Find out next time in the Garden of Pretty Good and Not so Bad
"You're the judge because you're the only one here with an actual law degree," EEE chirped from her position perched on the corner of Judge Court's bench.
"And what the helm are you wearing?" Court demanded.
EEE looked down. "This is my uniform. Eneyer told me that if I'm gonna be your bailiff, I had to wear a uniform."
"But that's a girl scout uniform, EEE. And it looks about 3 sizes too small for you."
"Four!" EEE grinned, tugging on the green skirt which barely covered her cheeks.
Court rolled her eyes.
"What's the next case?" she asked.
EEE reached into her bra and pulled out a crumpled sheet of paper. "Um.... it look's like it's Mike vs Angelique et al."
"Et al?"
"Et al," EEE repeated. "It's short for 'et alii' which is Latin for 'and others'"
Court gritted her teeth.
"I KNOW what et al means, EEE. WHO does 'et al' refer to in this case?" Court's temper was beginning to wear thin.
"Oh! It refers to RACE and Nova and... um... well..."
"I'm doing research into testectomy via farm implements!" Well declared, striding through the courtroom and back out again.
EEE glowered after him and then shook her head, collecting her thoughts.
"Um... well... actually *I'M* part of the 'et al'" she confessed. "You see...I was giving Mike a hard time on the boards yesterday and..."
Court held up a hand imperiously, cutting her off. "You're named in this suit?"
"Um... Yeah."
"Then get off my bench and go sit at the defense table with the rest of them!"
EEE hopped down. "Do I still get to call out 'All rise' when the doors open...?" she asked.
Court glared at her. "Send in a new baillif!" she hollared.
The door opened and a long, tall, hottie in chaps and a cowboy hat strode in. "Mornin' ladies," he grinned, tipping his hat at Court and EEE.
----
Will this trial EVER get underway? Will Angelique ever get her day in court? Will Court strangle EEE with her girl-scout badge sash?
Find out next time in the Garden of Pretty Good and Not so Bad
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
It was a dark and stormy night…
It was a dark and stormy night…
Stina shivered and pulled her wrap tighter around her shoulders. “Are you sure we’re going the right way?” she asked.
“Of course I’m sure,” RACE snapped, tugging nervously on his mustard-yellow tie. “I am a man. Men don’t get lost,” he blustered.
Stina shrugged and continued to look worriedly out the window. Just then, a large, looming, creepy house came into view, lights flickering in its windows like eyes watching their approach.
Stina wanted to demand that they turn around and go back to Florida, but RACE was already parking the car.
A pair of servants ran out from under the awning with umbrellas and they all dashed to the front door of the imposing mansion.
“Howdy,” said the sexy butler. “Y’all are the last to arrive. Here, let me take yer coat there, miss.”
Stina handed the hunky butler her wrap and he smiled approvingly at her slinky white satin dress.
“Follow me.” He led them through the grand foyer to a cozy room with numerous sofas and chairs and a fire blazing in an ornate grate.
Stina saw that the others were all already waiting.
Terri looked stunning in a slinky red satin dress. EEE looked equally stunning in a slinky peacock-blue dress. Garth looked dashing in his forest green waistcoat. And Nova looked…interesting… in a plum-colored beret that clashed a bit with his ginger hair. He seemed annoyed about something…
Stina noticed that there was an odd array of objects on the table in the center of the room.
The hunky Texan butler drew her attention then as he tipped his hat at them, flashing all three ladies a wicked grin before turning to leave. He almost ran into a lovely brunette in a scandalously short French maid’s uniform who was carrying a tray of aperitifs. “Oops! Sorry, darlin’,” he grinned, giving her taut little bottom a gentle pinch.
“Sacrebleu!” she squealed, giving him a severe look and muttering French curse words after him under her breath.
Everyone took a glass from the little French fluffball and then she curtseyed to them, giving the men an eyeful of her bountiful bosom, before she flounced out of the room.
“What exactly are we doing here?” Stina started to ask when suddenly there was a rolling roar of thunder that shook the entire room, followed by a flashing streak of lightning.
A moment of perfect silence.
The sizzling scent of ozone.
And then the room went dark…
---
What are they all doing in that creepy old house in the middle of storm? What will happen next? Why is Nova wearing a purple beret?
Stina shivered and pulled her wrap tighter around her shoulders. “Are you sure we’re going the right way?” she asked.
“Of course I’m sure,” RACE snapped, tugging nervously on his mustard-yellow tie. “I am a man. Men don’t get lost,” he blustered.
Stina shrugged and continued to look worriedly out the window. Just then, a large, looming, creepy house came into view, lights flickering in its windows like eyes watching their approach.
Stina wanted to demand that they turn around and go back to Florida, but RACE was already parking the car.
A pair of servants ran out from under the awning with umbrellas and they all dashed to the front door of the imposing mansion.
“Howdy,” said the sexy butler. “Y’all are the last to arrive. Here, let me take yer coat there, miss.”
Stina handed the hunky butler her wrap and he smiled approvingly at her slinky white satin dress.
“Follow me.” He led them through the grand foyer to a cozy room with numerous sofas and chairs and a fire blazing in an ornate grate.
Stina saw that the others were all already waiting.
Terri looked stunning in a slinky red satin dress. EEE looked equally stunning in a slinky peacock-blue dress. Garth looked dashing in his forest green waistcoat. And Nova looked…interesting… in a plum-colored beret that clashed a bit with his ginger hair. He seemed annoyed about something…
Stina noticed that there was an odd array of objects on the table in the center of the room.
The hunky Texan butler drew her attention then as he tipped his hat at them, flashing all three ladies a wicked grin before turning to leave. He almost ran into a lovely brunette in a scandalously short French maid’s uniform who was carrying a tray of aperitifs. “Oops! Sorry, darlin’,” he grinned, giving her taut little bottom a gentle pinch.
“Sacrebleu!” she squealed, giving him a severe look and muttering French curse words after him under her breath.
Everyone took a glass from the little French fluffball and then she curtseyed to them, giving the men an eyeful of her bountiful bosom, before she flounced out of the room.
“What exactly are we doing here?” Stina started to ask when suddenly there was a rolling roar of thunder that shook the entire room, followed by a flashing streak of lightning.
A moment of perfect silence.
The sizzling scent of ozone.
And then the room went dark…
---
What are they all doing in that creepy old house in the middle of storm? What will happen next? Why is Nova wearing a purple beret?
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Toys in the Playground
"Why are you looking so down, Woody Rational?" Bo Peep Angelique asked.
"Hey, EEE's birthday party is coming up. What are we going to do? She's bound to receive a new toy and forget all about us", replied Woody Rational.
"Gee, I don't know. Ever since we got the new playroom, she doesn't play with us the same!" exclaimed Nova Potato Head.
"Oh, I hear her mention Woody Rational all the time. When the dog Spot carted you off to the basement and you were gone for awhile until EEE found you, she kept pining after you Woody Rational. I don't think you have a thing to worry about. It's us others that might end in the Goodwill pile." Said Rex Garth.
"Well, once in awhile she'll pop quarters in me", mentioned Ham Tex.
"Oh, sure, pops quarters in YOU! She never gives me a whirl down the stairs anymore", complained Slinky Dog Race.
Tap, tap, tap. Bo Peep Angelique tapped her staff for attention. "Listen, everyone. All we need is a plan. We might have to open the soldier box."
All the toys GASPED.
"Bo Peep Angelique -- Sarge sometimes gets a little wild" cautioned Woody Rational.
"I haven't seen him in awhile, but I'm sure Sarge Polarity is still in there with his crew and would help. I'm sure the dolls -- Terri, Court, Stina, Flawless and Heart will help too."
"Ha! She still plays with them!" Rex Garth interjected.
"No, I've seen the dolls. They're collecting dust on the top shelf and Terri doesn't have a shirt and Court's briefcase has been crushed. Flawless' skirt is ripped all the way up the leg and Stina is missing a shoe. Hearts hair is all knotted, too." Ham Tex offered.
"No, they'll help. We'll get the Tinker Toys so we can build a ladder to get them down. Woody Rational, after we get Sarge Polarity and his men in here, you organize him taking charge of getting the dolls down".
"It will be my pleasure, Bo", Woody Rational said with a sly grin.
"Woody! It's EEE we're worried not wanting us. Don't go shooting your pistols off at the dolls, now!"
"Okay, okay -- sorry Bo Peep Angelique. They are darlings, though. Can't wait to see Flawless with the ripped skirt!"
"Rex Garth, open the soldier box" Bo Peep Angelique directed.
Rex made his way to the corner, underneath the desk to the box. The toys all followed a good bit away. Most of them were scared of the Sarge.
Rex took his teeth and gnawed the top of the toy soldier box off. All of the sudden, a handsome green man popped up.
"Sarge Polarity reporting for duty! Attention! Men, line up!"
All the soldiers, single file, jumped down from the box and lined up in perfect formation.
"Listen, here Sarge, we need your help" Woody Rational informed him. EEE's birthday is coming up and she's sure to get some new toys. Some of us might end up in the Goodwill box"
GASP! The toy soldiers couldn't believe their ears.
"Attention! Men, I won't tolerate speaking before you are requested to do so" Sarge Polarity barked.
"This is the plan", Woody Rational continued. "Well, part of the plan. We have to get the dolls down from the top shelf so they can help. We decided to build a ladder system using the Tinker Toys. Do you think you and your men are up to the task?"
"Yes sir!" Polarity Sarge shouted. "No task is too big or too small for me and my men. What's next after that?"
"Well, we will have to see what toy EEE receives for her birthday and what further action might be required. I'm assuming we will need everyone's cooperation." Woody Rational answered.
"It's bad enough we're losing some to the nasty kid next door, Feel the Heat Timmy." Slinky Dog Race said. "We probably wouldn't have lost as many, but doll Terri keeps flirting with Feel the Heat Timmy when she's down from the shelf. She doesn't mean any of it, but Timmy doesn't know that. That's how Terri lost her shirt. He thinks she means it, we know she's just distracting him from blowing up Mr. Potato Head Nova again on the rocket. It took us weeks to get all the pieces!"
"Yes, well, I remember that alright. None of us wants to end up in the sand pit nor in the Goodwill box. Rational, you seem to be her favorite. You have to stop being lost. Try staying away from Spot. You're lucky the dog didn't chew your head off," Bo Beep Angelique lectured.
"Oh! She's coming. Places everyone. Slinky Dog Race and Rex Garth, get the lights!", Mr. Potato Head Nova stage whispered.
Quickly, Rex Garth grabbed Slinky Dog Race and whipped him toward the light switch. One of his wires caught it just right and just in time to put the room again in darkness. The toys were still.
---------
Will Sarge Polarity and his men be able to get the dolls from the top shelf? Once they do, what will they plan? Will EEE get new toys for her birthday and will anyone go to Goodwill? Will Feel the Heat break any more of the crew? Stay tuned......
"Hey, EEE's birthday party is coming up. What are we going to do? She's bound to receive a new toy and forget all about us", replied Woody Rational.
"Gee, I don't know. Ever since we got the new playroom, she doesn't play with us the same!" exclaimed Nova Potato Head.
"Oh, I hear her mention Woody Rational all the time. When the dog Spot carted you off to the basement and you were gone for awhile until EEE found you, she kept pining after you Woody Rational. I don't think you have a thing to worry about. It's us others that might end in the Goodwill pile." Said Rex Garth.
"Well, once in awhile she'll pop quarters in me", mentioned Ham Tex.
"Oh, sure, pops quarters in YOU! She never gives me a whirl down the stairs anymore", complained Slinky Dog Race.
Tap, tap, tap. Bo Peep Angelique tapped her staff for attention. "Listen, everyone. All we need is a plan. We might have to open the soldier box."
All the toys GASPED.
"Bo Peep Angelique -- Sarge sometimes gets a little wild" cautioned Woody Rational.
"I haven't seen him in awhile, but I'm sure Sarge Polarity is still in there with his crew and would help. I'm sure the dolls -- Terri, Court, Stina, Flawless and Heart will help too."
"Ha! She still plays with them!" Rex Garth interjected.
"No, I've seen the dolls. They're collecting dust on the top shelf and Terri doesn't have a shirt and Court's briefcase has been crushed. Flawless' skirt is ripped all the way up the leg and Stina is missing a shoe. Hearts hair is all knotted, too." Ham Tex offered.
"No, they'll help. We'll get the Tinker Toys so we can build a ladder to get them down. Woody Rational, after we get Sarge Polarity and his men in here, you organize him taking charge of getting the dolls down".
"It will be my pleasure, Bo", Woody Rational said with a sly grin.
"Woody! It's EEE we're worried not wanting us. Don't go shooting your pistols off at the dolls, now!"
"Okay, okay -- sorry Bo Peep Angelique. They are darlings, though. Can't wait to see Flawless with the ripped skirt!"
"Rex Garth, open the soldier box" Bo Peep Angelique directed.
Rex made his way to the corner, underneath the desk to the box. The toys all followed a good bit away. Most of them were scared of the Sarge.
Rex took his teeth and gnawed the top of the toy soldier box off. All of the sudden, a handsome green man popped up.
"Sarge Polarity reporting for duty! Attention! Men, line up!"
All the soldiers, single file, jumped down from the box and lined up in perfect formation.
"Listen, here Sarge, we need your help" Woody Rational informed him. EEE's birthday is coming up and she's sure to get some new toys. Some of us might end up in the Goodwill box"
GASP! The toy soldiers couldn't believe their ears.
"Attention! Men, I won't tolerate speaking before you are requested to do so" Sarge Polarity barked.
"This is the plan", Woody Rational continued. "Well, part of the plan. We have to get the dolls down from the top shelf so they can help. We decided to build a ladder system using the Tinker Toys. Do you think you and your men are up to the task?"
"Yes sir!" Polarity Sarge shouted. "No task is too big or too small for me and my men. What's next after that?"
"Well, we will have to see what toy EEE receives for her birthday and what further action might be required. I'm assuming we will need everyone's cooperation." Woody Rational answered.
"It's bad enough we're losing some to the nasty kid next door, Feel the Heat Timmy." Slinky Dog Race said. "We probably wouldn't have lost as many, but doll Terri keeps flirting with Feel the Heat Timmy when she's down from the shelf. She doesn't mean any of it, but Timmy doesn't know that. That's how Terri lost her shirt. He thinks she means it, we know she's just distracting him from blowing up Mr. Potato Head Nova again on the rocket. It took us weeks to get all the pieces!"
"Yes, well, I remember that alright. None of us wants to end up in the sand pit nor in the Goodwill box. Rational, you seem to be her favorite. You have to stop being lost. Try staying away from Spot. You're lucky the dog didn't chew your head off," Bo Beep Angelique lectured.
"Oh! She's coming. Places everyone. Slinky Dog Race and Rex Garth, get the lights!", Mr. Potato Head Nova stage whispered.
Quickly, Rex Garth grabbed Slinky Dog Race and whipped him toward the light switch. One of his wires caught it just right and just in time to put the room again in darkness. The toys were still.
---------
Will Sarge Polarity and his men be able to get the dolls from the top shelf? Once they do, what will they plan? Will EEE get new toys for her birthday and will anyone go to Goodwill? Will Feel the Heat break any more of the crew? Stay tuned......
Friday, July 25, 2008
Wizard of Odd
I've posted this think ALL over the place, but just for Stina, who get's Rational in the end....
"Who are we going to meet, again?" Eneyer asked.
"Man, I'll be glad when you finally get a brain," Nova grumbled.
"A brain?" Eneyer repeated, frowning as he scratched his head and came away with several strands of straw.
Tex led the way up the stairs, his feet clanging with each step.
"Yap yap yap yap!"
"Shush, Rational!" Court said, adjusting her short gingham dress to show a bit more leg.
"Yap yap yap yap!"Court shoved Rational down into her basket and closed the latch.
"Halt! Who goes there?!" Bellowed Garth, who was wearing a silly green suit and a sour expression.
"We're here to see the Wizard," Court announced.
"The Wizard?!" Garth exclaimed. "Well, I never..."
"Tubal ligation!" Chortled Well, hurrying past on his way to a meeting of the Lollypop Guild.
Garth glared after him and then turned back to the group. "No one sees the Wizard! No one has EVER seen the Wizard! Even I have never seen him!"
"I need a heart!" Tex yelled.
"And - apparently - I need some F ing courage. Which is complete BS btw..." Nova grumbled.
"And I need to get home to see my Auntie Terri and my Uncle John T!" Court said.
"Yap yap yap yap!""And Rational needs to go for a walkie so he can make his poopie," Court translated.
"Absolutely not!" Garth declared.
"But the Good Witch Angelique sent us!" Court cried.
"Oh?" said Garth. "Prove it!"
"Um... She gave me these," Court said, ripping open her short gingham dress to reveal a set of Ruby Red La Perla lingerie"
"Blibbidy...." drooled Garth, his eyes bulging.
The rag tag group snuck past him, Tex's feet echoing through the majestic throne room.
WHO DARES DISTURB THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WIZARD OF ODD! a booming voice demanded, shaking the rafters.
The group huddled together, looking afraid, except for Nova. Court elbowed him and gave him a pointed look and he rolled his eyes. He tried to look afraid, but mostly he just looked annoyed.
WHO DARES DISTURB THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WIZARD OF ODD! the booming voice repeated.
"It's coming from behind that curtain," Nova said irritably.
"What's a curtain?" asked Eneyer.
"For the love of...!" Nova strode over to the curtain and yanked it aside to reveal Flawless looking completely beautiful and completely unrepenant. RACE was sitting at her feet. He popped a Dove chocolate into her mouth. When the others looked at her accusingly, she just shrugged.
"Now what?!" demanded Nova.
"Ah-ha-ha-ha!" a cackling voice cried out and they looked up to see the Wicked Witch Stina, looking frightfully beautiful on her flying roomba. She cracked her whip, snagging the basket right out of Court's arms. "I have you now, my pretty!" she crooned to Rational.
"Yap yap yap yap!" barked Rational as the Wicked Witch Stina sped away.
"Who are we going to meet, again?" Eneyer asked.
"Man, I'll be glad when you finally get a brain," Nova grumbled.
"A brain?" Eneyer repeated, frowning as he scratched his head and came away with several strands of straw.
Tex led the way up the stairs, his feet clanging with each step.
"Yap yap yap yap!"
"Shush, Rational!" Court said, adjusting her short gingham dress to show a bit more leg.
"Yap yap yap yap!"Court shoved Rational down into her basket and closed the latch.
"Halt! Who goes there?!" Bellowed Garth, who was wearing a silly green suit and a sour expression.
"We're here to see the Wizard," Court announced.
"The Wizard?!" Garth exclaimed. "Well, I never..."
"Tubal ligation!" Chortled Well, hurrying past on his way to a meeting of the Lollypop Guild.
Garth glared after him and then turned back to the group. "No one sees the Wizard! No one has EVER seen the Wizard! Even I have never seen him!"
"I need a heart!" Tex yelled.
"And - apparently - I need some F ing courage. Which is complete BS btw..." Nova grumbled.
"And I need to get home to see my Auntie Terri and my Uncle John T!" Court said.
"Yap yap yap yap!""And Rational needs to go for a walkie so he can make his poopie," Court translated.
"Absolutely not!" Garth declared.
"But the Good Witch Angelique sent us!" Court cried.
"Oh?" said Garth. "Prove it!"
"Um... She gave me these," Court said, ripping open her short gingham dress to reveal a set of Ruby Red La Perla lingerie"
"Blibbidy...." drooled Garth, his eyes bulging.
The rag tag group snuck past him, Tex's feet echoing through the majestic throne room.
WHO DARES DISTURB THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WIZARD OF ODD! a booming voice demanded, shaking the rafters.
The group huddled together, looking afraid, except for Nova. Court elbowed him and gave him a pointed look and he rolled his eyes. He tried to look afraid, but mostly he just looked annoyed.
WHO DARES DISTURB THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WIZARD OF ODD! the booming voice repeated.
"It's coming from behind that curtain," Nova said irritably.
"What's a curtain?" asked Eneyer.
"For the love of...!" Nova strode over to the curtain and yanked it aside to reveal Flawless looking completely beautiful and completely unrepenant. RACE was sitting at her feet. He popped a Dove chocolate into her mouth. When the others looked at her accusingly, she just shrugged.
"Now what?!" demanded Nova.
"Ah-ha-ha-ha!" a cackling voice cried out and they looked up to see the Wicked Witch Stina, looking frightfully beautiful on her flying roomba. She cracked her whip, snagging the basket right out of Court's arms. "I have you now, my pretty!" she crooned to Rational.
"Yap yap yap yap!" barked Rational as the Wicked Witch Stina sped away.
ATBT - Day Two of our Banishment
We have our little "garden" set up, but I'm still leary that they'll kill us again.
If that happens, we still have this and Nova's Yahoo site.
Ugh!
If that happens, we still have this and Nova's Yahoo site.
Ugh!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
As the Boards Turn
OK so this isn't as useful as Topix, but I control this and you should all be able to access it.
I figure in a few days or a week or so, whenever the new Nazi in charge of moderation at Topix get's bored being a d/ckhead, we'll be able to go back online.
Start commenting.
I figure in a few days or a week or so, whenever the new Nazi in charge of moderation at Topix get's bored being a d/ckhead, we'll be able to go back online.
Start commenting.
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